Sir Timothy Treat-all.
As it is Acted
At his Royal Highness his Theatre.
Written by Mrs. A. Behn.
LONDON: Printed for D. Brown at the Black Swan and Bible without Temple-Bar; and T. Benskin in St. Brides Church-yard; and H. Rhodes next door to the Bear-Tavern neer Bride-lane in Fleetstreet. 1682.
To the Right Honourable
Henry Earl of Arundel, and Lord Mowbray.
‘Tis long that I have with great impatience waited some opportunity to declare my infinite Respect to your Lordship; coming, I may say, into the World with a Veneration for your Illustrious Family, and being brought up with continual Praises of the Renowned Actions of your glorious Ancestors, both in War and Peace, so famous over the Christian World for their Vertue, Piety, and Learning, their elevated Birth, and greatness of Courage, and of whom all our English History are full of the Wonders of the Lives: A Family of so Ancient Nobility, and from whom so many Heroes have proceeded to bless and serve their King and Country, that all Ages and all Nations mention ’em even with Adoration: My self have been in this our Age an Eye and Ear−witness, with what Transports of Joy, with what unusual Respect and Ceremony, above what we pay to Mankind, the very Name of the Great Howards of Norfolk and Arundel, have been celebrated on Foreign Shores! And when any one of your Illustrious Family have pass’d the Streets, the People throng’d to praise and bless him as soon as his Name has been made known to the glad Croud. This I have seen with a Joy that became a true English heart, (who truly venerate its brave Country−men) and joyn’d my dutiful Respects and Praises with the most devout; but never had the happiness yet of any opportunity to express particularly that Admiration I have and ever had for your Lordship and your Great Family. Still, I say, I did admire you, still I wish’d and pray’d for you; ’twas all I cou’d or durst: But, as my Esteem for your Lordship daily increased with my Judgment, so nothing cou’d bring it to a more absolute height and perfection, than to observe in these troublesome times, this Age of Lying, Peaching, and Swearing with what noble Prudence, what steadiness of Mind, what Loyalty and Conduct you have evaded the Snare, that ’twas to be fear’d was laid for all the Good, the Brave, and Loyal, for all that truly lov’d our best of Kings and this distracted Country. A thousand times I have wept for fear that Impudence and Malice wou’d extend so far as to stain your Noble and ever−Loyal Family with its unavoidable Imputations; and as often for joy, to see how undauntedly both the Illustrious Duke your Father, and your Self, stem’d the raging Torrent that threatned, with yours, the ruin of the King and Kingdom; all which had not power to shake your Constancy or Loyalty: for which, may Heaven and Earth reward and bless you; the noble Examples to thousands of failing hearts, who from so great a President of Loyalty, became confirm’d. May Heaven and Earth bless you for your pious and resolute bravery of Mind, and Heroick honesty, when you cry’d, Not Guilty; that you durst, like your great self, speak Conscientious Truths in a Juncto so vitious, when Truth and Innocence was criminal: and I doubt not but the Soul of that great Sufferer bows down from Heaven in gratitude for that noble service done it. All these and a thousand marks you give of daily growing Greatness; every day produces to those like me, curious to learn the story of your Life and Actions, something that even adds a Lustre to your great Name, which one wou’d think cou’d be made no more splendid: some new Goodness, some new act of Loyalty or Courage, comes out to cheer the World and those that admire you. Nor wou’d I be the last of those that dayly congratulate and celebrate your rising Glory; nor durst I any other way approach you with it, but this humble one, which carries some Excuse along with it.
Proud of the opportunity then, I most humbly beg your Lordships’ patronage of a Comedy, which has nothing to defend it, but the Honour it begs, and nothing to deserve that Honour, but its being in every part true Tory! Loyal all−over! except one Knave, which I hope no body will take to himself; or if he do, I must e’en say with Hamlet,
−−Then let the strucken Deer go weep—
It has the luck to be well received in the Town; which (not for my Vanity) pleases me, but that thereby I find Honesty begins to come in fashion again, when Loyalty is approv’d, and Whigism becomes a Jest where’er ’tis met with. And, no doubt on’t, so long as the Royal Cause has such Patrons as your Lordship, such vigorous and noble Supporters, his Majesty will be great, secure and quiet, the Nation flourishing and happy, and seditious Fools and Knaves that have so long disturb’d the Peace and Tranquility of the World, will become the business and sport of Comedy, and at last the scorn of that Rabble that fondly and blindly worshipt ’em; and whom nothing can so well convince as plain Demonstration, which is ever more powerful and prevailent than Precept, or even Preaching it self. If this have edifi’d effectual, ’tis all I wish; and that your Lordship will be pleas’d to accept the humble Offering, is all I beg, and the greatest Glory I care shou’d be done,
Your Lordship’s most Humble and most Obedient Servant,
Written by Mr. Otway, Spoken by Mrs. Barry
How vain have prov’d the Labours of the Stage,
In striving to reclaim a vitious Age!
Poets may write the Mischief to impeach,
You care as little what the Poets teach,
As you regard at Church what Parsons preach.
But where such Follies, and such Vices reign,
What honest Pen has Patience to refrain?
At Church, in Pews, ye most devoutly snore;
And here, got dully drunk, ye come to roar:
Ye go to Church to glout, and ogle there,
And come to meet more leud convenient here.
With equal Zeal ye honour either Place,
And run so very evenly your Race,
Y’ improve in Wit just as you do in Grace.
It must be so, some Daemon has possest
Our Land, and we have never since been blest.
Y’ have seen it all, or heard of its Renown,
In Reverend Shape it stalk’d about the Town,
Six Yeomen tall attending on its Frown.
Sometimes with humble Note and zealous Lore,
‘Twou’d play the Apostolick Function o’er:
But, Heaven have mercy on us when it swore.
Whene’er it swore, to prove the Oaths were true,
Out of its much at random Halters flew
Round some unwary Neck, by Magick thrown,
Though still the cunning Devil sav’d its own:
For when the Inchantment could no longer last,
The subtle Pug most dextrously uncas’d,
Left awful Form for one more seeming pious,
And in a moment vary’d to defie us;
From silken Doctor home−spun Ananias:
Left the leud Court, and did in City fix.
Where still, by its old Arts, it plays new Tricks,
And fills the Heads of Fools with Politicks.
This Daemon lately drew in many a Guest,
To part with zealous Guinea for—-no Feast.
Who, but the most incorrigible Fops,
For ever doom’d in dismal Cells, call’d Shops,
To cheat and damn themselves to get their Livings,
Wou’d lay sweet Money out in Sham−Thanksgivings?
Sham−Plots you may have paid for o’er and o’er;
But who e’er paid for a Sham−Treat before?
Had you not better sent your Offerings all
Hither to us, than Sequestrators Hall?
I being your Steward, Justice had been done ye;
I cou’d have entertain’d you worth your Money.
Sir Timothy Treat−all An old seditious Knight that keeps open House for Commonwealths−men and true blue Protestants—-He is Uncle to Tom Wilding. [Mr. Nokes.]
Tom Wilding A Tory–his discarded Nephew. [Mr. Betterton.]
Sir Anthony Meriwill An old Tory Knight of Devonshire. [Mr. Lee.]
Sir Charles Meriwill His Nephew, a Tory also, in love with Lady Galliard, and Friend to Wilding. [Mr. Williams]
Dresswell A young Gentleman, Friend to Wilding. [Mr. Boman.]
Fopington A Hanger−on on Wilding. [Mr. Jevon.]
Jervice Man to Sir Timothy.
Laboir Man to Wilding.
William Page/Footman to Lady Galliard.
Boy Page to Diana.
Footmen, [Guests, Servants] Musick, &c.
Lady Galliard A rich City−Widow, in love with Wilding. [Mrs. Barry.]
Charlot The City−Heiress, in love with Wilding. [Mrs. Butler.]
Diana Mistress to Wilding, and kept by him. [Mrs. Corror.]
Mrs. Clacket A City Baud & Puritan. [Mrs. Norice.]
Mrs. Closet Woman to Lady Galliard. [Mrs. Lee.]
Mrs. Sensure Sir Timothy‘s Housekeeper.
Betty Maid to Diana.
Maid at Charlot’s lodging.
Within the Walls of LONDON